Difficult things that require practice and dedication generally follow the same template. I keep finding similarities between tantra and other practices covering subjects as diverse as dating or sales.

The Principles

The general principles they follow are:

• Have a process to follow and don't try to wing it.
• Be unemotional in your pursuit since emotions tend to create confusion and doubts.
• Do not invest before you see returns to conserve resources.
• Define the threshold for what a good target is beforehand.
• Do a lot of it.
• Set clear result-based goals (not actions) and make sure you reach them.

This list might seem simple but there is a lot behind it. If you work on your sales skills then you must have a process, not be emotional, not overextend before a customer has committed, define what a valuable lead is and make sure you meet your sales targets. And, of course, you have to pursue a lot of leads to increase your results at the other end.

When it comes to tantra, you likewise need a clear process, have to be dispassionate (ironically) even in the midst of an intense orgasm, not lose yourself in pleasure before you have gained control, define how deep you want to go in a session and have to retain a clear focus on what a successful session is. Repetition is likewise needed and you should harvest or orgasm multiple times in one session, which is key to making progress.

The principles are always the same.

The Process

The process for each discipline will differ but there are still similarities that are independent of the application area.

When it comes to sales, tantra or approaching girls, the process might appear to be different but the underlying principles remain the same.

This article will present a brief guide on how these principles unfold when applied to approaching girls.

Focus Early

Preparation begins with focus. To be consistent, you need to prime yourself for the action you will perform since humans are messy and emotions, moods and daily fluctuations tend to create confusion.

For approaching, the most important part is to make sure your mindset, communication skills, emotions and, most importantly, eyes are fully ready.

Bring out your eyes so you transmit a strong energy and vibe.

Whoever said "eyes are the window to the soul" touched on something very true about humans. Your emotions, intent and state will be visible at a glance in your eyes.

Your eyes cannot hide anything. On the flip side, they can express everything.

Go to a crowded area and communicate with people to make sure you are prepared.

Set Your Attraction Threshold

When it comes to approaching, it is very common to hesitate and be lost in a cloud of uncertainty.

"Maybe her? I'm not sure. Oh, now she's gone. How about her? But she's so far away and I can barely see her. Oh, also gone."

Paralysis by analysis. That is the most detrimental blocker when it comes to routine approaches, even more so than any emotional barriers to starting a conversation with a stranger.

When you see someone every day or are talking to them socially, you have more time to assess them. But in a fleeting moment on the street or inside a public venue, you have to make a decision much faster.

The easiest way around this dilemma is to define an attraction threshold in advance and to then just execute on it. No one will be perfect. Everyone is ugly and beautiful at the same time. Everyone has flaws.

What attracts you and gives you a sensation of deep desire? Irrespective of the feature being sought, be it breasts, mannerisms, a certain smile, eyes, look or any other aspect one can observe from far away, decide the core of your desire and run it against everyone you see.

Look for directional attraction, not perfection.

The goal is to define your desire and to then look for it deliberately rather than trying to make a complex computation in the moment. You do not need all data, you just need to find the signal in the noise.

If someone is within that type, then don't hesitate. Otherwise, don't bother. Nothing is black and white. Everything is within a grey zone, so decide what matters first.

Keep it simple. Focus on her physical aspects, which is what she has spent hours in the bathroom preparing for. Women want to be appreciated for their looks. No woman advertises her personality from afar.

Another aspect of selection that might hold you back is a feeling that she might not need you in her life. But this is an irrelevant consideration since all intimate relationships are fleeting. No one needs anything. We engage with others due to our hormonal drives.

Attractive girls generally jump from one relationship into the next without a gap between them while cheating is much more common in girls simply because it's easier for them.

In addition, if you are intelligent, successful and actively focused on self-development then you are light-years ahead of any "retard" she could be dating today or will be dating in the future. In fact, chances are high that she fucked a retard last night and will fuck a different one tomorrow.

When you see a pretty girl, remind yourself of that since you might confuse the quality of her looks with the quality of her life.

They fuck retards.

Of course, this does not mean that she will jump on you once she sees you but it frames the dynamics the right way.

Lastly, don't forget that any girl you see in a busy city is a one-time opportunity never to come again. If she walks out of sight, she walks out of your life as well.

You will never see her again.

One-Way Expression

No woman wants to orchestrate her own seduction. The most frustrating thing for a woman is not a man that pushes too hard but a man that doesn't push at all.

In the former case, she can simply say no or leave. In the latter case, she has to make an effort and take charge, which women hate like the plague. For this reason, a woman will end up sleeping with a retard who pushes the right buttons rather than the more desirable guy that does not make a move.

But this little insight reveals much more about women since it shows that they prefer being passive spectators that are taken on a journey by the main character rather than being the main character themselves.

That means, when you approach her, be expressive and talk at her rather than with her. Lead the conversation, push for what interests you and don't expect her to participate.

A woman will be happy just signalling through a gesture, a smile, a laugh or a submissive body movement even if she does not speak much. In the same way, she might talk a lot without making any conversational point simply because she gets lost in the moment.

Don't expect her to take on 50% of the interaction or depend on her giving you permission to express yourself. Lead 100% of the interaction, even if she does most of the talking.

Express and have fun.

There is another lesson hidden deep within the rule to express yourself fully and to not burden her with leading the interaction. There is a tendency, especially in sensitive people, to overanalyze a person's response. This leads to prioritizing your impression over expression.

While it is important to read basic signals such as gestures and reactions, you should prioritize expression since you will get lost in over-analysis otherwise. Also, expression tends to shape reactions over time since humans have a powerful desire to follow strong leadership.

This is why you often hear women say that their first impression was not good but later they saw a guy differently.

If she is not interested in you, she will say so or simply walk away. Beyond that, no reading between the lines is allowed unless you read it as interest. That is especially true if you have not spoken to her yet.

There is another reason why this matters.

If you are walking into an interaction trying to gain an impression, rather than aiming to express yourself, a part of you is trying to take something from her to enhance your own life. That means, you are not going into an interaction with the aim of giving her your expression but are trying to take from her to enhance your life.

This is not to say you cannot go into an interaction with a goal or agenda but you should not make the result something she has to contribute to.

If she reacts negatively, you can simply move on. If she follows along, you take her on a journey.

There is a saying taken from a Zen koan: "If you turn towards it, you turn away from it. If you turn away from it, you turn towards it."

Applied to this situation, it means: If you try to bring her into your life, you will fail. If you bring your life to her, you will succeed.

Approaching is a way to express yourself, not a way to enhance your life. That means, you never try to gain anything and always feel like you have nothing to lose. Your way of expression is not pretense just to impress her. It's who you are and you never try to win her over. You simply check if she is available or not.

Don't try at all.

To be continued...