Solo tantra practice is meditative since it allows you to sit in a half-lotus position and stimulate yourself in a meditative trance. This is beneficial since it isolates the practice to only what really matters without the distractions of sounds, exertion, smells, pleasure and unpredictable events.
Transitioning to Sex
The greatest differentiators when transitioning to sex are:
- External stimulation instead of stimulating yourself:
- This reduces the level of control over the stimulation and can lead to unexpected sensations.
- It will likewise be difficult to fully cease stimulation at will since the partner will only respond after a delay (if they want to stop at all).
- Being positioned on top or on your back instead of sitting in a half lotus posture:
- The final position can make the technique more difficult since it might be hard to relax the hip area, move the head to allow energy flow and erect the spine properly.
- Active body movements with physical exertion rather than being passive and relaxed:
- This increases the level of bodily pleasure since the exertion and oxygen deprivation in the muscles will favour reaching orgasm faster.
- The movement also makes flexing the PC muscle more difficult and will make focusing on energies harder since there are many variables at play.
How To Make the Transition
A technique is applying order and control to an uncontrollable event: the orgasm. When you start out, the orgasm is so uncontrollable that you cannot even get close to it without dropping all your plans and running full steam ahead into an ejaculation.
As you progress, you get comfortable and more cool-headed inside the orgasm and you gain control. But as your body changes day by day, the skill will not only be control but also awareness of how much control you can exert today. On some days it will be a lot. On other days it will be little.
Figuring out what the sweet spot is on any given day comes with awareness, not just control.
Diving In
- Start small:
- Do not go as deep as you would when you are alone. Stop earlier and do the technique earlier. Carefully identify which level of control you can exert in small increments.
- Reduce variables:
- Instead of switching positions frequently, decide on one position that you will stay in with your partner.
- Make movements predictable and rhythmic to avoid any unforeseen events that could spike you towards an orgasm.
- Reduce exertion:
- Do not exhaust yourself but remain calm and collected.
- If you breathe heavily, then slow down until your breathing has calmed.
- Do not tense your muscles, especially your quadriceps and glutes, since doing so can be a shortcut towards an unstoppable orgasm.
- Control stimulation:
- Make sure that you can increase, reduce, and stop stimulation at any time. Staying inside of your partner will generally always be stimulating even if still, so ensure that you can exit her at any time if needed.
- Focus on the technique:
- Make sure that you can execute the technique in whatever position you are in. This includes PC muscle flexing, erecting the spine, vortexing, and more.
- Allow yourself to disconnect from your partner during the execution of the technique since you reverse the energy from forwards (into her) to backwards (down the root and up your spine).
Keep It Simple
Reengage with your partner and continue after every cycle. Chances are that one good harvest will already satisfy you and you can enjoy the rest of the session with her without attempting another orgasm. Every harvest removes the horniness from the tip further but keeps your erection and drive, which makes this state ideal to have sex without wanting to orgasm again.